What if we stopped pretending everything is fine?

The image we often see of the people around us,
always doing well, always smiling, always moving confidently forward,
has become an illusion.

We have grown disconnected from one another.
We hide our struggles, even though everyone carries burdens of their own.
And so, we begin to feel as though we are failing. But that is not the truth.
We are not alone, and what we struggle with is completely normal.

More and more people are closing themselves off. Because they feel they cannot keep up with society's expectations, they are encouraged to learn how to carry themselves, how to shake hands, how to communicate, how to smile for the perfect photo, how to stand out, and how to appear confident. I have come to see it as artificial.

For a long time, I also felt like an outsider, simply because I refused to play that game. My honesty was too much for many people. My childlike joy often seemed improper. Disappointment was something you were expected to hide. Openly expressing my emotions was unwelcome. And the fact that I would not adapt just because someone expected me to, that was considered arrogance.

So I began to observe people. And I realized that, according to the world around me, I should buy books and take courses that teach me how to behave, study them carefully, and practice every day. Then I would finally blend into the crowd and become exactly what was expected of me.

And if I refused, emotional blackmail, manipulation, judgment, gossip, conflict, and rejection would typically follow. So many people choose to adapt. This world constantly tempts us to do just that. Personally, I think it's complete bullshit.

Where is the uniqueness of each person, then?

Where is the freedom to express who we truly are?

And where are tolerance, compassion, and kindness toward one another?

Can you honestly say how you feel without fear of being judged or labeled as incompetent, needing a doctor, or doing something wrong?

Aside from your closest friend, when was the last time you felt you could tell someone how you really feel? 

• I'm devastated.
• I'm unhappy.
• I want a different job.
• I'm emotionally drained.
• I'm worried about someone I love.
• I need some time off.
• I have no energy left. I can't do anything for anyone else right now.
• Something happened that hurt me deeply.
• I'm sad because I miss my friend, who passed away.
• I have too much on my plate.
• I'm sad because I miss my dog, who was ill and had to be put to sleep a year ago.
• It's been three years, and I still miss him.
• I'm struggling with family issues.
• My health is suffering.
• I feel angry.
• I'm exhausted.

Would you say it?

Or would you keep it to yourself because you're supposed to be doing well and moving forward?

How long can anyone live like that? Months? Years? Decades?

Who knows what each of us carries silently inside? And yet, every one of us carries something. Some burdens are heavier, some lighter, but none of us is untouched by them.

I see it now.

Emotions are an inseparable part of us.

I have been through it all too. I have felt alone and completely broken. I have also felt deeply happy, as though I could fly. I have felt sadness, carried anger within me for years, felt betrayed, incapable, and lost. I have also felt unstoppable, as though I could achieve anything. There were times when nothing interested me anymore and times when I felt I had so much joy to give.

We, as human beings, carry an extraordinary range of emotions within us. Science tells us that our emotional spectrum is remarkably wide. So why do we expect ourselves to live like wax figures -always pleasant, always composed, and never changing?

Why do we believe we should hide those emotions from everyone around us? The more we hide our emotions, the lonelier we become. And I believe that is one of the greatest problems of our time.

But how can we ever learn it if we are unwilling to admit that these emotions exist in the first place? And when something truly difficult happens, how can we possibly know how to cope with those emotions if we have spent our lives pretending they were never there?

And so, not to solve anything, nor to directly help, but simply to share, I wrote this letter:

Sometimes, all it takes is a short conversation to remind us that we are not alone. Other times, it is simply an understanding glance. Every so often it is sharing our struggles. And other times, it is simply cursing the unfairness of what has happened. I am not encouraging people to complain.

I am encouraging honesty, the recognition that not everything is perfect. And that it's okay.

Even philosophy says that it is not the happiest or most pleasant moments that move us forward, but the ones in which we hit rock bottom and learn to grow.

Read it.

Imagine we are sitting together over a cup of coffee, simply talking. For a little while, allow yourself to feel supported. Feel understood. Feel that you are not alone. Our lives may be different, and the challenges we face may not be the same, but the feeling of carrying something difficult is something we all share.

By the time this letter reaches you, I will probably be in a different season of my life, facing diverse challenges than I am today. But one thing will remain true: none of us is alone in having to face difficult times.

And if this letter speaks to you, I would love for us to stay in touch. It seems my keyboard and my pen still have many stories left to tell. 😊 If you enjoy reading, I'll be here.

And... pssst 🤫 I love reading too, so you're always welcome to write to me or share your thoughts in the comments below.

And if I don't begin with myself, if I don't start by changing the environment I create and the way I respond to the world, then where else should I begin?

I can't change other people. I have no influence over politics. I can't give a home to every dog that has no one to care for them. I can't change the biggest things. But I can change little things.

What I can do is bring a different perspective on life into the world, one rooted in honesty, authenticity, and kindness.

And yes, maybe I'll be a complete weirdo to some people. I'll be too honest. I'll create things that some people won't understand, while others will love them. I'll feel my emotions, accept them, and let them go when the time is right. And from time to time, I'll be misunderstood. But I'll keep going. For everyone who understands.

Because you know what?

I'm not alone in this. And neither are you.

* 11-2026-8

Thank you for reading this article and for your comment. ♡